phreddd: (Default)
phreddd ([personal profile] phreddd) wrote2005-05-12 07:38 am

(Shoe choice: brown-and-black fake Docs, black socks)

I spent last night pondering adulthood - I do it every time a discussion comes up of an issue that raises my anxiety level slightly. In this case, John (my primary/live-in boyfriend) tells me he has registered for a training session in our district on the marriage amendment that our state legislators (ASSHOLES!) were among the first signators to.

I always figured that being queer meant I was better (by a large amount) than marriage - that shit is for other people who just have to make babies and try to do the house/two kids/garage act. Now that 30 has come and gone and 35 is about to crash into me, I'm faced with a serious realization: I'm part of this world, and I've got to think about what I would want if I weren't able to be nearly as independent as I am - nearly as prone to "Peter Pan syndrome."

More than a few people (boyfriends included) have also pointed out to me that I might do well to file away those downright negative opinions of marriage (that I developed during a childhood spent watching my parents shout at each other from afar) in order to help the greater good. They all make a valid point. I'm just afraid that, if I do that, then I risk falling in with every gay couple who's ever tried to send my blood sugar through the roof by talking about rings, ceremonies, and sticking together for life. Am I ready to do that with ANYBODY?

Oh, well. Another day of work looms...


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