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Brown rope sandals
In the middle of cleaning out my car before I drop it off at the mechanic.
My brother Jay called last night to give me his number in Maryland, since that's where my grandmother will be staying now that they've (his words) "been evicted" as a a result of my mother's decision to sell the house in Brooklyn. He also told me that he no longer wants anything to do with Mom's side of the family,and that by no means should I share the new phone number with anyone - now how fucked up is that?
Fucked up enough that it was still on my mind three hours later, and that I gave John a very hard time all night because of my mood, to say the least. I was real frightening to be around for a while, and he let me know it. My tears later on told a similar story, as I unloaded my rough day at work and home on him.
It's just real sad that I spent the first 34 years of my life with my family in disarray, and that all my father's death did was aggravate things, since Jay seemed a little less than intent on healing and grieving than I thought. I have to admit, though, that Mom wanting to unload that house so quickly didn't help, but I have to think that might have been her way of putting a real bad (for her) piece of the past in the rear-view mirror.
I just wish I could do the same right now without feeling like I abandoned someone/something important.
My brother Jay called last night to give me his number in Maryland, since that's where my grandmother will be staying now that they've (his words) "been evicted" as a a result of my mother's decision to sell the house in Brooklyn. He also told me that he no longer wants anything to do with Mom's side of the family,and that by no means should I share the new phone number with anyone - now how fucked up is that?
Fucked up enough that it was still on my mind three hours later, and that I gave John a very hard time all night because of my mood, to say the least. I was real frightening to be around for a while, and he let me know it. My tears later on told a similar story, as I unloaded my rough day at work and home on him.
It's just real sad that I spent the first 34 years of my life with my family in disarray, and that all my father's death did was aggravate things, since Jay seemed a little less than intent on healing and grieving than I thought. I have to admit, though, that Mom wanting to unload that house so quickly didn't help, but I have to think that might have been her way of putting a real bad (for her) piece of the past in the rear-view mirror.
I just wish I could do the same right now without feeling like I abandoned someone/something important.