phreddd: (southpark)
Hi, I'm Fred and I'm stubborn as a mule.

I know that as my 30s progress my odds of being wolf-whistled and come on to by folks other than boyfriends and close friends will diminish a bit (Oh, but I still keep working out and doing the little things to get fit and such), but that reality takes something out of me. I feel even more mortal - like I know that aging is the most universal thing we all do, but that I was expecting to get some kind of rain check on it... much like having a realtionship - sexual or otherwise - is the healthiest thing one can do, but it goes down like castor oil or 666 Cold Preparation sometimes - not very easy going down for the relief it can potentially give. John puts up mirrors frequently to how selfish and bombastic I appear sometimes (especially in public), and it's not a comfortable sight. I'm just so happy it blended in last night with the roller derby crowd.
phreddd: (Default)
I was not ready for this holiday season... not even close.Major depression follows... )
phreddd: (Default)
The word "bittersweet" comes to mind on so many levels after Tuesday's vote here in Wisconsin. I'm glad a few more Democrats (incl. at least one new state Assembly member I hadn't planned on - YAY STEVE HILGENBERG FOR "THAWING" STEVE FREESE!!) got in, but another marriage amendment passes (It passed in Iowa County, where I currently live and vote, by 126 votes)...

As somebody who's lived in a few places, and was kinda ready to outstay my 4-year average, now I'm wondering why I should bother. I know John feels the same (Hell, he's only lived in this state 30 years, and been a homeowner for 28 of those years!! But he sucks dick -- usually mine-- so he and I are persona non grata in terms of having even minor legal protection for our relationship without jumping legal hoops last seen at Sea World.). Not that we were feeling marriage OR anything equivalent (Watching my parents up close during my childhood cured me of ever wanting as much as a stray hair from a marriage, thank you very much.), but to have such a healthy (not quite 60 percent) portion of the voters in the state where you earn your money and sleep most nights tell you that your preferred type of primary personal relationship is nothing hurts like hell!!

Legal challenges will follow, and I'll keep watching... whether I'll still be living in Wisconsin by the time there's a resolution remains to be seen, however.

I want to vomit (but at least I don't want quite so much to hurl a brick at anyone today - that said, folks with "One Man, One Woman"-type stickers on their cars had still better be careful...).
phreddd: (drinkie)
I talk too much when I clearly don't need to (during sex, especially - that could be part of why I no longer enjoy it so much).
phreddd: (Default)
Reality... it escapes me much more often than I seem to be able to escape it.
phreddd: (Default)
I just feel like I get taken through some shit at times... challenged on a level I wasn't expecting when I woke up that particular morning. On those days, I take making it to bed in a place other than an alley or a jail as a victory.

Now, honestly there were some achievements today - the day at work began with me successfully programming a full set of cable remotes properly on the first attempt.

BUt there's also the memory of my final call of the day - damn near losing a customer's email through complete stubbornness!

This evening, John talked me into attending a debate on gay marriage... and I felt some heat all over the audience, and in me, too. It took a lot not to slide out of one of those Fluevogs and hurl it at the "gentleman" representing Focus on (Fucking Over) the Family - and by the way, I can now say that I have seen a haarrrrrrd right-winger wearing Birkenstocks (taupe suede Bostons, if you cared)! I can think of a few images more unsettling than that one... but for someone who watches politics and men's shoes, that was one I could've done without. The fact that he sounded like he was whining all throughout his speaking, trying to obscure or just shout down salient points by the other debater (and looked like a lesbian college professor, although the actual lesbian college professors in the theater probably wanted to beat him down about 15 minutes in) was equally unwelcome.
phreddd: (Default)
How do I end the week I decide to reduce my coffee intake?read more )

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phreddd

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